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Carmen Georgene McKay

May 03, 1959 - March 09, 2024
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Posted by:

April McKay-Dudsic

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Posted by:

April McKay-Dudsic

Report Obit

Carmen Georgene McKay

May 03, 1959 - March 09, 2024

Memorial Life Story by her sister April McKay-Dudsic

   Carmen McKay sometimes called BodhiShakti was born in Glendale, CA on May 3, 1959. She passed away suddenly at the age of 64 and was found March 10, 2024 and presumed to have passed March 9. She is the CEO of Venus Envy where she held an intimate heart connecting event for lesbians over 50.
   Carmen made bold colorful art that was showcased in a museum art show and sold many beautiful renovated art furniture pieces on Etsy for nearly $10,000.  She loved rescuing huge pianos and turning them into swimming pool waterfall pieces.
   Carmen was co-owners of She She Fun Events with previous partner Annie Albright. They produced single lesbian dance events and festivals integrating their spiritual journeys of meditation and practicing open heartedness with the wise women in San Diego and Guerneville.
   Earlier Carmen lived in Baja, Mexico where she was a Handy Ma'm fixing rental properties she ran qnd operated and again produced some Single Wiser Women Lesbian beach get-a-ways for the women over 40.
   With her partner Cora Nowell's encouragement she auditioned for "America's Got Talent", where Nick Cannon loved her Elvis impersonation, and she got a call back. She chose a touching Vietnam Vet character monologue and that did not win a spot, but she got to show her huge range.
   Seeing all the homeless dogs in Baja she started an ongoing food drive with the local ex-pat Baja Mama's Cafe, and most importantly, she started an Animal Shelter in Mexico that continues to this day helping dogs get fed and find a home.
   Prior to that, she delved into Landmark Education's transformative education and even worked for the company on staff for four years where she met her partner Debbie King. From there, she launched into her own dreams and became a transformative corporate comedian consultant in Silicone Valley to the top tech companies such as Intel, Adobe, Cisco, Motorola, Nortel, hp, Nokia, Kaiser, hospitals, and more. She worked many years as a consultant for her friend Rayona Sharpneck's company Women's Leadership.   
   She was given a Governor award for the work she did producing a Homeless fundraiser show. She directed real homeless people to tell their dramatic stories with dignity on stage. She gave them a voice.
   In her younger years she was a mail carrier in Santa Rosa and bought her first house on the Russian River. She suddenly got a debilitating unknown illness that 10 years later became known as Epstein Barr or CFS. This was a lifelong struggle.
   She turned to the River Repertory Theatre and met her lifelong partner in merry crime Tiana Lee. They acted in Come Back to the Five and Dime Jimmy Dean and Man in the Moon Marigolds. She debuted in her own one woman show she wrote. She was also famous for her singing Elvis impersonations promoted as Elvis' Dyke Daughter.  
   She produced huge 3 day Women's Weekend festivals for many years in Guerneville and was given an award by the Chamber of Commerce for the huge financial contribution her events made to the community. She lived in Guerneville for over 20 years over her life. 
   Her first live-in older girlfriend nicknamed Leemer aka Lois lived in Livermore and collected ornamental frogs. Carmen adored her, and though she denies it, she cooked delicious gourmet meals regularly. They remained friends till her unexpected passing. 
   In her college years in Lancaster, CA, she starred in many productions but was long remembered at AVCC for her embodiment of the Lucy character in Charlie Brown. Her fatally smitten straight co-star Linus wrote about this time of life years later passionately and humorously in his novel on Amazon called, A Son of the South Bay - Part 2 Ready To Launch by Chris Lawler. Carmen's short story is called The Vortex aptly. 
   She graduated from Evergreen High School in Everett, WA at only 16 years old. She moved back to CA and worked in a 7/11 at 17 on the night shift where she bravely stopped a robbery.. She was known as Super Woman, so donned that costume often. Her favorite hobbies over her lifespan were motocycle riding, horseback riding, and owning cool cars.
   She is survived by: her mother Sandy Haynes, her siblings: April McKay-Dudsic, Tom McKay, Alex McGarry, Sharon Friend, Sandy Lilienthel, and Shelby Cheek and many, many long devoted friends. 



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Condolences 3

April McKay-Dudsic This is Ed Gurowitz; Carmen and I worked together in Generative Leadership Group in the '90's and did a couple of comedy consulting gigs together, notably at CSAA. We more or less stayed in touch from there. I am grateful for the gift of laughter Carmen brought to my life, my colleague's lives, and the lives of our clients. I miss her.
7 months ago

April McKay-Dudsic Russelll Requested I post this comment for him: Date: April 11, 2024 at 9:53:46 AM PDT To: Russell Wells Okay, I will send to April. Really nice. Anne On Apr 11, 2024, at 8:25 AM, The Pelican wrote: I met Carmen when I was a director of the Timber Cove Homes Association. She astonished me by revealing the true nature of my fellow directors, and with other members we orchestrated the strategy that eventually removed them all. Not without a bitter struggle, during which these miscreants, among other despicable acts, invaded her personal e-mail. Carmen gave up her job, had a stroke, and suffered all the nervous strain of this stressful situation. The members of the Timber Cove community, whether they realize it or not, owe her a huge debt of gratitude. As do my wife Kathleen and I. We always thought of her as a force of Nature, raising the spirit, a radical seeker of the truth. A tempestuous, beautiful soul. Never met anyone like her, and we’ll miss her very much. Kathleen here, and yes, I was very happy to meet such a beautiful and inspiring woman who really had a powerful personality that gave me hope for this TC Homes Association. She is in our hearts and I feel very blessed to have known her. May she find Peace now.
8 months ago

Anne Vernon My friend Carmen: I met Carmen when my partner (now my husband) and I were embattled in a dispute over our land in 2017. She had taken a job as an HOA administrator, and got the picture right away. We had many supporters, but she single-handedly turned the corner for us. She could only tolerate the job for 4 months due to the corruption, but the woman was a Warrior and a Rebel, and invaluable in saving us. Without her, we would have lost our property or worse. I remember the treatment I was receiving in the meeting, and she turned her beautiful face to me after the abusive comments and told them in open meeting the treatment was wrong. Her eyes completely connected with mine. Later she came over to our house and we talked for 3 hours. Our friendship had begun. I considered Carmen my little sister. I had 5, now 4 younger sisters, and she fit in even deeper in the scenario because of her extraordinary personality. She had a huge heart, and because of that, her love was big and present all the time. We took many getaways together, explored existentialism, and worked on finding our connection to God. Her search became deeper, and I knew she was lonely. I knew she was on a path that was becoming very intense for her, and was on a trajectory that I could not follow. My regret is that the last year of her life was so difficult, but that is a judgement on my part, and perhaps it was perfectly made the way she needed it to be. I wish that I had had the skill to help her more, and be involved more. The times we had a complete connection were some of the most deep spiritual love I have ever felt for another human being. But as time wore on us, it was fading to distant place behind our responsibilities, personal decisions, and lifestyle. I guess these intense time capsules of connection we feel for a person beyond ourselves are what make us aware of life-the brief and exquisite beauty of it. As we all progress toward our awakening, we hold these moments dear and close within our private thoughts and heart. My grief for Carmen feels like a love with no outlet, but there is the secret: it is love. As my youngest sister just comforted me by saying: Other people’s grief brings up my own, and then I think of it as the love from the other side-whomever comes to mind first may be who is sending that love to me-and I’m sad and thankful and filled with love to plug in somewhere, anywhere.” Bless you Carmen for your love and the incredible luck I had in getting to know you. I know you are in bliss now. Anne
8 months ago

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